Habit #2: Maintain Key Friendships-from The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers by Dr. Meg Meeker.

Happy mothers know their value and happy mothers maintain key friendships. They know that loneliness is an enemy to be fought. They know they need other women and they don't apologize for it.

At a certain level we all know that friendships are important but, as Dr. Meeker says,

"The truth is, when something needs to be cut out in the crunch of daily demands, friends are the first to go. Sometimes friendship seems expendable, unnecessary. "

Some of us might think that our needs are being met by our family and husbands,

"this is extremely important, but they don't fully satisfy our relational needs because the others in the relationship are too dissimilar from us. Husbands can't be everything to us and certainly children can't be."

I am sure my dh is grateful that I have a group of women I meet regularly with! It is not that I keep him out of parts of my life. Far from it. It is that there are things proper to being a woman that he can't relate to. And I shouldn't expect him to. It goes without saying that my relationship to him is primary but he is not expected to be my all in all. I think he is relieved.

Loneliness can be a great enemy. It is in loneliness that our problems magnify: our thoughts get darker,our sorrows get deeper, our sadness consumes us, our joys go unshared and unseen. Loneliness is crushing. It is in loneliness when we start asking, "What is wrong with me?"

" A mother who feels lonely believes on some level that she is unlikable, even unlovable."

Dr Meek reminds us that "friends are a necessity, not a luxury." I truly believe this. We are not meant to be alone. I am not meant to be alone. I read once in book about social development for children that kids don't need tons of friends. Just one friend can carry a child through the developmental years. Just one friend can make a difference between a normal childhood and miserable one. I think the same is true of us.

*For more discussion on The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers see Elizabeth Foss' blog . She is the one that got me interested in reading the book and she is doing a great job at discussing it every Thursday.*